Living With Metastatic Breast Cancer: Choosing Love Over Fear

What we learned about [the Holocaust] is that they could [take our lives] at any minute… we were tortured, but we learned we couldn’t change what was outside of [us], it was up to me to never let the enemy murder my spirit.

– Dr. Edith Eger, Auschwitz Survivor

When I read the quote above, I thought, How can you be so bold as to compare your stage four cancer to the horrors that Dr. Eger lived through? But her message resonates with me. Cancer, to me, is that force I cannot fully change or control. The treatments are often brutal, and I am never sure what the future will hold… But I can control how I react to these horrors and never let cancer murder my spirit.

That sentiment has been the guiding force for me through my recovery. So much so that I chose to change my reaction… my spiritual perception of this “enemy” by removing sayings like “fighting cancer,” “winning the battle,” or “killing the bad cells.” Instead, I realized this so-called enemy is in me, a part of who I am. Instead of fighting it, I show it kindness and compassion. The cells that went bad simply need to be showered with love, not hate. So, I envision this collective light showering those sad cells with so much mercy that they put down their metaphorical swords and choose love over hate.

I also had to change my stubborn reluctance to accept charity and help, and that is how I found Sharsheret. Never have I felt so much caring, support, and love from an organization like this. I called them when I was first diagnosed, and from then on, they have been by my side. At first, it was just their kind words and the fact that there was always someone for me to talk to, reminding me that I am not alone. Then they paid for me to have a beautiful human-hair wig. They are covering the cost of having my now-bare eyebrows tattooed. On top of that, I received this thoughtful care package of lotions, cosmetics, and literature on all you need to know about the disease and, more importantly, how Sharsheret’s programs can help educate and connect you with women who are on this same journey.

I am a single mother of an amazing teenage daughter who often struggles with getting by, and the services Sharsheret offers at no cost give me hope, confidence, and a shoulder to lean on. Thank you to all the amazing people at Sharsheret, and to all of you reading this now: You are not alone. We are all here for you to raise your spirit and help show you the way.